The Burden

I left my class today, after dealing with this kid who demands way too much of my time (yes, he's still there), really burdened by the thought of "hopelessness". As class ended, my only black, male student walked in and sat in front of me. I have known for a while that he's dealing with some issues (cases, bad influences, etc) and my heart goes out to him every time. Today was different though; he sat down although he had missed the class. He wanted an ear and so I listened. He hasn't turned in any of his work although he's done the work. The thing is, this particular assignment that's due is a personal essay and he told me he hates to write about his life. He isn't proud of himself and he hates to have to look back. "We were evicted," he said today "and I have nowhere to go. But I'm trying." He's trying...he really is. He shows up and although I see he has a strong defense system going on, it's easy to see that he's hiding something. He's hurting. Today, it was clear; he spoke little but said much. I asked him to tell me what I could help with and his eyes welled up with tears:

"Miss, I don't know. They say they need some financial aid papers that I can't produce. They want it from my father but my father is in Trinidad. And it doesn't help that my mother is always asking me for money. And yesterday, I missed your class because my sister ain't have no babysitter so I stayed with her kid. I'm tryin', Miss, I really am but they don't make it easy either. I talked to the lady in financial aid and she gave me a silly face saying she can't help me. I want to do better but if my life depends on it, I'm going back to sellin' and I know you gonna tell me about the consequences and all dat but my life depends on it, Miss. I'm tryin' and I wanna stay out of jail. Right now I got a felony on my back that I'm fightin' but if I gotta do it, I'ma sell again. Either that, or I'ma go to the army and take my anger out on some people in that war. I gotta do somethin' but this school thing seems like it's so hard. I'm tryin to stay out of trouble and away from these kids who are a bad influence but it's not workin', Miss. Not when my family gettin' evicted and I can't buy my books for school and it ain't like my sisters went to college so they not helpin'."

My heart was completely shattered as I watched him fight the tears. This kid is really trying and there was very little I could say to him to give him encouragement. Nobody at the school really understands the plight of this kid. See, he was charged with assault (he beat some kid with a bat) and he was sent to jail for 2 years. The contrast to that is that another kid in the same class (white) and his friends gave a guy a heavy beat down and he got 29 days and probation. Justice seems to have a heavy hand when it comes to certain children, but I digress. This young man is trying and he wants to stay out of trouble. It's just sad that with all that he has poured out to me, I still can't figure out where to begin to help him. I can't pay his tuition, I can't talk to his counselors because they won't talk about specific students, and I can't keep his family from being evicted. But when I look at him, I see a brother, a nephew, a cousin, and I can't help but feel responsible to at least do something to help keep him out of the hands of the justice system. After all, he's only 18! Look at what life we can hand him if we give him a college education, as opposed to letting him go and allowing the system to take his life and liberty!


This is the burden we all should share. We should be considering ways to help young people, such as this kid to get on the straight and narrow. Now we know he made choices before and his choices were not the wisest but is there any among us who will take a stand to help put this kid and those like him back on the straight and narrow and take them off the streets? He only sees two options outside of college: Jail and Jail because to me, the army is just another institution that is set up to "protect" us by putting our youngest, most talented men and women under a sentence that they can't seem to get out of. These shouldn't be his only options but they are. And the burden is mine to figure out if there is just one or two things I can do to help ensure that he stays the course because he is, afterall, really really trying. These are the situations that make me angry and sad and frustrated with our "system" of education and government. There is no rehabilitation: If you were always a miscreant, then you rarely have a chance at changing your life and doing what's right. The streets are calling our kids. In fact, I fight against the streets everyday! I remember when I was about to become a teacher in New York City and I did a small scale study of the area in which I would teach. I interviewed a drug dealer on the corner, who happened to be a fellow high school classmate of mine. He looked me squarely in the face and said "Keep your foot up their asses because I got my hand in their pockets. Your greatest enemy everyday is ME and I ain't gonna quit so you better not either." And I have NEVER forgotten that lesson. It was the most honest lesson I learned as a teacher. No seminar or book by any prominent professor could have broken down education theory and philosophy to me so simply as Face, the drugdealer in Brooklyn. "Keep your foot in their asses...I'm your greatest enemy...I ain't gonna quit so you better not..." I'm still fighting and will continue to do so; I just wish I had more ammunition.
$.02.

When White Attacks Black and White Is the Only Defense

This issue has been bugging me all day, along with several other issues but I figured if I write about it, I can channel the energy in the right direction. I'm tired of whiteness...Seriously...I've had enough of white power, white supremacy, white ignorance, white walls, white anything. I'm officially asking white people to give me a day off from the foolishness!

Lately, there has been much talk about race and racism in our 'u'ni'topian' society. From chimps and shots to a nation of cowards, we've somehow begun to see that our society is not all that brave when ti comes to tackling issues of race. I have a feeling that very soon, these discussions will inevitably become so prominent that we will have no choice BUT to address what has been swept under a rug for so long (if you're white, that is). I say if you're white because for black people, race stares us in the face every morning before we leave our homes. Each day, we are reminded of our position in society, whether we're at the top or at the very bottom. Everyday that I stand before a class filled with white students, I remember that I'm black. Every time someone puts my change on the counter, I am reminded that I'm black. In fact, last week a student thought it wasn't enough that I see my beautiful black skin in the mirror every morning before heading to work, so he felt the need to remind me that I'm black. He received a grade that he didn't like on a paper and he retorted with a racial remark. Now, the result of this episode is what led me to write this post after almost 6 months of silence.

Let's recap the episode. I walk into a college classroom, stand at the podium, give my morning greeting and then walk towards the computer to start projecting the day's lesson. I begin the workshop and students are engaged in a discussion about their work. It is then that I realize that I need to return papers to them so they can critique and mend more of their work (this is an English class). I begin to return work and when said student receives his paper, his immediate response is to be on the defensive. Why? He earned a 4% on a quiz. I return his other paper (which he failed to actually revise after I made several suggestions for revision. So I just graded it as a draft, since I have nothing to do with people's ability to follow directions) and then the volcano erupted:
"Why would you give me a D?"
I looked around to make sure I had heard what I thought I heard.
"And why would you write to me in gel pen?"
Again, I wondered who the hell he thought he was talking to. I paused before responding and so happy I am that I paused.
"I know what you gave me a D...It's because you're bbb bbbb bbbbbbbbb"
At this point, I was ready to hear it. I've been called that before, here we go again! I figured, hmm, it's early in the semester but here we go! B____, yes yes, get it out, B____! And then...
"It's because you're BLACK and you think that you're the greatest force on the face of the earth!"
Pause...WHAT? What did he say? Triple pause again "HUH?"
Now clearly, if you have the talent of deductive reasoning, you can figure out the problem here.
My response was simple "I was born black, have been black all my life, and will continue to be black for as long as I live so deal with it!"
He got even angrier and began to flip out in his own little head and his own little world. The other students were aghast. I was rather calm and even that is something to think about. Why was I so calm? It's because this isn't the worst thing I've been called and it's because moments like these are what Ralph Ellison and Toni Morrison and Marcus Garvey have been preparing me for all my life. I was ready for that. What I wasn't ready for was what followed.
"I'm getting out of here! I'm not staying here!" and he stormed out in ire.
Now some minor details took place in between and editorial power gives me the right to write around them but his behavior left me wondering what the hell I would possibly do if that seemingly unstable individual should ever storm back into the room with the intent to do harm. What would I do? The students began to comment with disgust and fear at his behavior. They were surprised at how calmly I handled the situation. The expressed fear and as a seasoned educator, I have wolfwoman syndrome and felt the need to protect my flock. So on I went to detail the event to my department chair.

Herein lies the problem. Those with whom I work are very sensitive individuals. They are liberals who all informed me that they "voted for Barack". They are the ones who pat me on the shoulder on November 5: "Congratulations! How do you feel? Did you ever think this would happen?"...yes, THOSE liberal folks are my coworkers. You know, the ones who talk about Barack Obama in the office really loudly, very close to my cubicle, so that I know they're "down" with the Obamalution. So I stopped to consider every word that I put on paper. I paused to consider every person that may/may not see what I wrote. I had to think of ways to sound as objective as possible, while showing concern for the student (this, afterall, is my job). But reality hit just as I was about to hit "send." There is no person of color in any power position that will have anything to do with this issue. So what am I really expecting them to do? I kept HOPE alive (afterall, they all seem to love that word these days). I hit send and waited. I read, and re-read the email to ensure that I had used words that conveyed enough urgency and disgust for the matter to be treated with urgency.

I will fast forward to why I'm troubled. I walked into class today, and this kid was sitting in the front of my room, waiting on me to enter.
"I'm sorry for what happened," he yelled, as I walked through the door.
And without responding, I paused to imagine that I were a petite white woman and that he were a black man (of any shade, height, and build) and I imagined what would have happened had he then exploded the way he did in my last class. HE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN THERE! SO WHY THE HELL IS HE HERE? WHY? Really? WHY! I stood for 50 minutes before a class wondering just that. HOW is it possible that nobody considered that he was a danger to me and to his fellow classmates because he exploded and has demonstrated signs of instability. Why the lack of concern? If he were black and had hurled any insult at his innocent white professor who was simply trying to do her job, he'd be gone 15 mins before he even THOUGHT of exploding. Somehow, the white protectors would've been there to rescue the princess from the potential attack of a rabid human being who speaks in loud tones. SO WHY WAS THIS KID STILL SITTING IN FRONT OF ME and WHY wasn't there anyone from the administratio present to ensure that there would be no incidents? Is it because I'm too professional to tell him a few choice words or to insist that he realize his inferiority to me, the power player in the lecture room, who could make or break his immediate future? Should I have stormed out of my class bursting in tears, crying like a damsel in distress who was traumatized by the big bad bear? I don't get it. Where did I go wrong? WHY WAS HE THERE after clearly violating the college's code of conduct and after all necessary parties were notified?

Needless to say, he was a distraction to his fellow classmates for the entire session and I had to question those in charge after class was over. Now, the disciplinarians are still asking me to answer more questions about whether I deem him a threat EVEN AFTER at least 4 detailed reports being sent from me to them regarding this case. EVEN AFTER they have asked me what I would like to see happen to this kid and I said GET HIM OUT OF MY CLASS. They still want to know HOW dangerous I think he is. So, what I'm wondering is if he's only mildly dangerous, does this mean he stays? I don't get it!

Simply put, had the race cards been reversed and the situtation the same, that young man would have had a paper trail so long following his ass out of the college FOR GOOD, that he wouldn't even want to step on campus to enjoy the free ice-skating or to use the library. In fact, they might find some restraining order that would hold him at least one town away from the entrance of the college. THIS, my people, is the post-racial U.S.A, where our President rocks a fade and his wife gets a touch-up every 6 weeks. THIS is what happens when whitey attacks blackie and the power players look more like the attacker than the victim. $.02

She strikes again

So on Friday I attended a colloquium on transitioning from being a doctoral student into the work world. I learned quite a few bits of information, the most important of which was where to search for jobs in higher education. I posed several questions relating to age and race but the one which seemed to hit home for my very racist professor of whom I spoke before (see first entry) was my inquiry about searching for jobs as a young person. Her response was "oh you should be searching the Chronicles of Higher Education and that other one that they have out there...what's it called? Oh yeah they used to call it the Black Chronicle but now I don't know the name but I'll forward it to you and you can find information on how to apply to HBCUs like Howard and such" Now there were two things to consider there. First, I hadn't ever mentioned, in my 3 years here, that I was remotely interested in applying to Black schools. In fact, had she ever listened to me, she would've known that I'm more interested in going on the international market than working at any U.S. school.

I mean, what does one say to something like that? This is reminiscent of so many unsavory things she's said to me over the past 3 years. Prior to this incident, I told her I had been volunteering at a golf tournament. I was giving some commentary on the nature of the tournament and how I found it deplorable that ANYONE would have time to play golf from 9am-5pm on a work day when their subordinates are busy slaving away at work to send their children to an affordable liberal arts school. My statement was made to point out the inequity in American society, where the rich exploits the poor and plays golf without reservation or concern for the little man. Her response? "Well it's kind of a great thing if you think about it. Years ago those guys who you saw playing today would've probably never been able to stand on the golf course except to work as caddies or to fetch water and balls for their bosses." I asked her to clarify and she said "well weren't there Black All-Stars playing?" I mentioned that the majority of individuals on my side of the course were white but there were some Black men playing. Now this struck me again as something strange...I hadn't mentioned a word about black men playing or anything related to black people and here she was, racializing the incident. Granted, the event is named after a Black baseball all-star but really, why must it be about race every time she opens her mouth? And it's always something ignorant!

Then there was the ignorant classmate yesterday who wanted to talk as an expert on reproduction theory in schools. She talked about minorities having similar experiences as working class children. So I couldn't resist the urge to ask for clarification on the difference between minorities and working class children. She had assumed that once she didn't use any other clarifying statement, that everyone assumed that those working class children to whom she referred were "naturally" WHITE. So she stumbled and gagged and all but threw up at my demands that she clarifies and defines what "minority" refers to in that context she was using. The professor intervened to "put us back on task"...You see, a discussion that puts a White woman on the spot for using prejudiced terms is not accepted in my program.

This all led me to think today about the possibility of Barack Obama being President and what it means to white people in the U.S. I've grown so weary of hearing white people qualify their "tolerance" by the fact that they're voting for Obama. I cannot tell you how many times white people have asked me what I think about Obama (as if their telling me that they're voting for him will make me see them as less inherently RACIST). I often say something egregious about Obama, just to watch their faces. So let's hypothetically say that Barack Obdama were hmm, Rashid Jackson with the same qualifications but raised by a Black grandmother in Harlem or Atlanta. Would White America be so gungho Democrat if Rashid were running against John McCain? I do wonder if it's really the politics of Obama that they like or it's the fact that he makes them comfortable that he's kind of black but kind of white and kind of "safe"? I don't know, these are just a few of the things that have been in my thoughts over the past few days.$.02

In a hotel lobby in Accra

So on my recent journey to Ghana, I visited La Palm Royal hotel (hands down, the worst managed hotel I've visited) and as I was only there for one night, I decided to spend some time in the lobby of our bungalow just taking in the experience I had had over the previous 3 days and also to enjoy the fresh Ghanaian air. Then along came a spider....And here's my reaction to his major faux paux




Why is it that if you see me, a Black woman, sitting around in the lobby of a 5-star hotel in Ghana, you automatically assume that I work here?

This white devil, anglofied racist beast looked me in the face and dared to insult my intelligence with his Napoleon-syndrome-having pompous attitude...'Do you work here?" "No, do you?" "No" " so why would I work here?" "I dunno, I'm just asking".

And then reality set in! Is it really that no matter how far I go in life; no matter my level of education or status, earnings, grother, savings potential, no matter what, I will still be a negro woman who will forever be mistaken for a Ghanaian hotel worker who without her uniform is simply an off-duty hotel maid?

Well, I'll be damned if I allow the world to define Black identity as something less-than or unequal to power, prestige, persistence, perseverance, pride, and potential. I am not your Jemima! I am not giving your seedlings my soul to suck on for what feels like eternity and I refuse to let my children feel inferior or be made to feel inferior because they choose to embrace their identity. I refuse to be marginalized, exoticized, demonized, and criticized by your standards that reduce my resilient sisters to nothin gmore than a colonizer's concubine who cleans the slop from the tables of men who sold their souls for coffee and sugar cane! $.02

What About Our Children?

I wrote this essay in 2002 so it is a bit dated but it's still relevant today.

Living in the City--- What about our youth?

When was the last time you visited Crown Heights or any of the once predominantly black communities of New York City? Have you seen our new neighbors? Maybe you’re wondering what happened to the old ones. What happened to those happy little girls who played double-dutch on the street and the little boys who always opened the fire hydrant on a hot summer day? What about the old man with the pipe who sat puffing tobacco all day on the stoop with his buddies, or the women who used to bring their lawn chairs out in front of the building to deliberate over the latest news in the community? Who are these strange people taking over Harlem and Crown Heights and Bedford Stuyvesant? Last time I checked, white folks didn’t go past Eastern Parkway/Brooklyn Museum on the Brooklyn bound #1 and #2 trains or 96th street on the Manhattan side. Now why have they decided to sit all the way to the end of the train line?


We wonder why our youth are so angry and so defensive nowadays. We wonder why their faces are so grim and why they all seem to have attitudes. Some blame it on the rap lyrics, but that’s for the ignorant, uninformed bunch, who write books and novels that define a race they have no part in. Our youth are angry because they are tired of fighting. They fight for territory, they fight to eat, and they fight for mental and physical survival. Look at the environment in which we are living. Some of our youths have never inhaled a breath of fresh country air. But who will take them to the great outdoors if we are all stuck in our offices in our sophisticated suits? Why is it that our inner city schools have no technology when you, my friend, sit and mingle with IBM and Microsoft all day long surfing the internet that schools are too poor to offer to our own children. There’s a wealth of information out there and they can’t get it, simply because they’re poor. Yet we live in the city with one of the greatest skylines of all time, boasting the statue of liberty as its backdrop. Our city is one of the most segregated in the country we just don’t acknowledge it. If you ride the subways long enough, I’m sure you’ll see segregation at its worst. At least in the south you know they don’t like us, and vice versa. Here, they are in power and they suppress us, subtly. A professor of mine once posed the question “why would the colonizer educate the children of the colonized the same way he does his own children?” I ask of you, what are you doing to educate our children?


We think that children don’t notice when things happen around them. “Why isn’t so and so living next door anymore?” “Why can’t I go to such and such a school like those other kids?” These are their thoughts, but who gets to hear them when everyone is so busy trying to earn enough for a condo or a new Range Rover? Where are those young Black men and women who have climbed out of these communities into institutions of higher learning? What have they come back to do? We criticize white America for taking over our homes and our culture, yet we as young educated adults, sit back and allow them to do so. What have you done for a teenager in your community lately? When did you take time out to speak to one of the young men or women on the corner? Do you judge them as you walked by, or do you stop to change a life by inspiring them with some positive words? You went to college, got a fly degree, but what have you done to change the future of our race? How are you helping?


I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and tired of hearing Martin Luther King’s name every Black History Month. Dr. King didn’t dream that one day our youth would outnumber white boys in jail. Dr. King didn’t dream that one day we would educate ourselves and leave the future to perish because we’re too busy making a dime. Dr. King didn’t dream that Black girls would be getting pregnant at age 13 with no baby fathers. That wasn’t Dr. King’s dream. We pass our children on the streets everyday on our way to work in the white man’s world. Again, I ask you, what have you done for a child lately? Our children are fighting daily for survival in a world that doesn’t belong to them. “That rap music is poisonous to the mind,” they say, but what other role models are we giving our children? How easy it is for little boys all across America to wear bandaids on their faces because Nelly is wearing them, or to sport Jerseys all summer long because it’s that rehab they call ‘Fabolous’ style. How about the good old Alicia Keys braids that guys and girls are rocking nowadays. Why has everything become such an easy trend to follow? They have nothing else to look at. They have teachers who couldn’t care less about their education, people moving into their communities and causing them to become displaced, and a society of educated young Black adults who don’t give a damn about them. What, I ask you, is the future of our children, and when will you stop in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the city to hear what stories they have to tell? In the words of the great Mahatma Ghandi, “the future depends on what we do in the present.” $.02

The Biggest Taboo

The Biggest Taboo: Absentee Mothers

There is a new epidemic facing our community. No one sees this
epidemic, no one talks about this epidemic, and nobody seems to want
a cure for this epidemic. There is an unfair stigma that latches
itself to Black fathers and I'm about to help you put a stop to it.
There is a new generation of mothers who are walking away from their
responsibilities, leaving young fathers to tend, mend, and defend
their children alone, and for this, men have gotten no credit.

Mama! Mama! Where are you, Mama? What the hell is up with women walking out
on their kids nowadays? I see you over there reading this all
perturbed because you think I made a typo and should've said "Daddy"
where I said Mama but I guess you, like half of the population, have
not gotten the memo either. Mothers, yes, MOTHERS are walking out on
their kids nowadays, leaving fathers all by themselves. Yeah, I know
some of you are saying "good, it's about time" but what's up with
that? I mean, really, why is it that 15% of the 11 million single
family households are headed by single fathers? I know that a good
number of that percentage are those men who have lost their wives or
partners to death's sting. I'm not talking about those. I'm talking
about the new epidemic: Dead Beat Mothers. You know the type. The
ones who get with a man, fall in love, think he's everything to her
so she puts on this front to get the ring. She gets the ring, she
stops doing her thing, and he picks up the slack where she falls
short. Things are going well, they're happy as hell, then comes the
bad news: she's pregnant before she can get what she thinks she
really wants out of life. Then he's no good anymore. Then all of a
sudden chaos reigns. Then she makes his life a living hell and when
the baby comes she says "the bastard is yours" and walks the hell
out. You think I'm joking? You think this is a farce? Well pause for
a moment while I give you a dose of reality.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are an estimated 2.3
billion single fathers in the United States of America today. Gone
are the days when men who raised children alone were widowers. Today,
only 5% of single fathers are widowers, 42% of which have been
divorced, while 38% have never been married. So where the hell are
the mothers? Why have mothers decided to walk out cold on their sons
and daughters, leaving little or no support for the fathers who are
left in this situation? Then let's talk about the justice system that
is more willing to give the children to their dead beat mothers than
to a hard-working man who wants to do what's right by his child?
I've seen it over and over again; women having children just
to "please" their men then as soon as something goes wrong, they
bail, forgetting the importance of their roles in the lives of their
young soldiers. What is up with that?

Then let me not fail to attack those who dump their children on the
grandmothers of today. I know ya'll saw that pathetic episode of 60
minutes where those poor grandmothers were raising the children of
their irresponsible children while their backs and knees buckled for
lack of relaxation in their old age. Why has parenting become a
burden that everyone wants someone else to bear? But I digress so let
me refocus.

Women, our role is to uphold, instill, teach, nurture, and educate
our children. So what is this new trend proving? I know fathers have
been doing it for years, leaving mothers to tend to the future but
what is the future if there are no mothers? Don't get me wrong, this
article is meant to commend and support and congratulate those young
men who have declared that they won't be another statistic. I commend
you and I respect you for taking on the responsibility for which
society gives you no credit. But I also have to call out women who
walk away and forget that they have a huge role to play in the lives
of their sons and daughters. Ideally, a family is supposed to consist
of mother, father, and child. That idealism has died since the
beginning of the last century but is it necessary that we continue to
build negative trends and ideas for future generations?

Absentee mothers leave their children feeling unloved and uncared
for. A mother's touch, kiss, embrace are essential elements in a
growing child's life. Think about it…when you cried, your mother was
more likely to comfort you than your father. Who knew better how to
solve some of life's hardest problems than your mother? While your
father was busy providing, wasn't it your mother that you were able
to sit and converse with about the silly little things you did at
school? And when you needed to write something, wasn't it your mother
that held your hand to form those letters? So why have mothers
decided to walk away from the glorious task of raising better men and
women for tomorrow? A father's heart is warm but a mother's chest is
soft and soothing for a crying baby. So why have mothers begun to
turn away and who will pick up the slack for them?

Maybe you're one of those women that snubs men who have children even
before you know the situation. We all have done it because we have
no time for the "baby mama drama". I was one too until I sat and
reflected on my own ignorance. It was not until I heard the cry of a
baby boy whose father picked him up and hushed him with the soothing
sound of a song, that I realized how stupid I was for not
acknowledging and applauding young men with children. It is not
often that you hear fathers standing up and doing what's right by
their children. Fathers, even mine, have often been dead beats and
missing and don't get me wrong those fathers get no love or credit.
But who rides for the fathers who have stepped up to the plate when
the mothers have walked away from the most beautiful gift life can
offer?

Women, let's celebrate and support those men who have the task of
raising their children all alone. Dating them doesn't mean you
automatically become a mother; however, it makes you a mentor that
this child can lean on or look up to as a mother-figure. Remember, a
mother is not necessarily one whose womb has been occupied. If we
don't support them, then the trend will worsen. Walking away from a
man because he has a child is as bad as walking away from your own
child. Remember the old axiom, "it takes a village to raise a
child"? Well, what role are you playing in the village?

If we must stop the trend of children growing up with low self-esteem
and no values then we must join in and support the single fathers
that we know by encouraging them to continue to do their best to be
the best "daddy" in the world. We must also teach and encourage
mothers to stick by their children as we build a better future in our
communities. Children with strict, caring mothers grow up with
values and standards. Boys who are raised by good mothers grow up to
respect women as they would their own mothers. Girls with good
mothers grow up to be strong women who respect themselves and
others. The foundation of the future is melting away. Mothers are
going astray, leaving others to raise their children. If the trend
doesn't stop here, there will be no future and the vicious cycle will
continue like a plague throughout our community.
For those who are interested, here are some resources that help to
support single fathers:
National Center for Fathering http://www.fathers.com
Parents Place.com Fathering Reading Room
http://www.parentsplace.com/readroom/
Fathering Magazine http://www.fathermag.com
Single & Custodial Father's Network http://single-fathers.org/
The Single Fathers Lighthouse
http://www.av.qnet.com/~rlewis3/index.html
Eggebeen, D, Snyder, A, & Manning, W. (1996). Children in single
father families in demographic perspective. Journal of Family Issues,
17(4), 441-465.
Greif, G. (1995). Single fathers with custody following separation
and divorce. Marriage & Family Review, 20, 213-231.
Parke, R., (1996). Fatherhood. Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University
Press.
http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/cb96-195.html
http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/cb96-200.html

Statistics and resources provided by
The Population Resource Center,
http://www.prcdc.org/holiday/fathersday.html
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/06/18/single.dads/
The Ohio State University Extension FactSheet:
http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/5000/5310.html

$.02

Motivation

Einstein marveled in the mysteries that others found mundane. -- Isaacson

Einstein loved and encouraged individuality. He found the most pleasure in thinking differently. We should never reduce what we know or want to know to all others want us to know. If we do so, we lock ourselves away in a box for which nobody has a key! We are everything our minds allow us to be and more. Our minds guide us to reason about the unreasonable and marvel in the mundane, as Einstein did. So when people doubt us, we should take it as a compliment about our willingness to appreciate the things they cannot see. I am, you are, we are the developers of the mundane impossibilities of life