The Burden

I left my class today, after dealing with this kid who demands way too much of my time (yes, he's still there), really burdened by the thought of "hopelessness". As class ended, my only black, male student walked in and sat in front of me. I have known for a while that he's dealing with some issues (cases, bad influences, etc) and my heart goes out to him every time. Today was different though; he sat down although he had missed the class. He wanted an ear and so I listened. He hasn't turned in any of his work although he's done the work. The thing is, this particular assignment that's due is a personal essay and he told me he hates to write about his life. He isn't proud of himself and he hates to have to look back. "We were evicted," he said today "and I have nowhere to go. But I'm trying." He's trying...he really is. He shows up and although I see he has a strong defense system going on, it's easy to see that he's hiding something. He's hurting. Today, it was clear; he spoke little but said much. I asked him to tell me what I could help with and his eyes welled up with tears:

"Miss, I don't know. They say they need some financial aid papers that I can't produce. They want it from my father but my father is in Trinidad. And it doesn't help that my mother is always asking me for money. And yesterday, I missed your class because my sister ain't have no babysitter so I stayed with her kid. I'm tryin', Miss, I really am but they don't make it easy either. I talked to the lady in financial aid and she gave me a silly face saying she can't help me. I want to do better but if my life depends on it, I'm going back to sellin' and I know you gonna tell me about the consequences and all dat but my life depends on it, Miss. I'm tryin' and I wanna stay out of jail. Right now I got a felony on my back that I'm fightin' but if I gotta do it, I'ma sell again. Either that, or I'ma go to the army and take my anger out on some people in that war. I gotta do somethin' but this school thing seems like it's so hard. I'm tryin to stay out of trouble and away from these kids who are a bad influence but it's not workin', Miss. Not when my family gettin' evicted and I can't buy my books for school and it ain't like my sisters went to college so they not helpin'."

My heart was completely shattered as I watched him fight the tears. This kid is really trying and there was very little I could say to him to give him encouragement. Nobody at the school really understands the plight of this kid. See, he was charged with assault (he beat some kid with a bat) and he was sent to jail for 2 years. The contrast to that is that another kid in the same class (white) and his friends gave a guy a heavy beat down and he got 29 days and probation. Justice seems to have a heavy hand when it comes to certain children, but I digress. This young man is trying and he wants to stay out of trouble. It's just sad that with all that he has poured out to me, I still can't figure out where to begin to help him. I can't pay his tuition, I can't talk to his counselors because they won't talk about specific students, and I can't keep his family from being evicted. But when I look at him, I see a brother, a nephew, a cousin, and I can't help but feel responsible to at least do something to help keep him out of the hands of the justice system. After all, he's only 18! Look at what life we can hand him if we give him a college education, as opposed to letting him go and allowing the system to take his life and liberty!


This is the burden we all should share. We should be considering ways to help young people, such as this kid to get on the straight and narrow. Now we know he made choices before and his choices were not the wisest but is there any among us who will take a stand to help put this kid and those like him back on the straight and narrow and take them off the streets? He only sees two options outside of college: Jail and Jail because to me, the army is just another institution that is set up to "protect" us by putting our youngest, most talented men and women under a sentence that they can't seem to get out of. These shouldn't be his only options but they are. And the burden is mine to figure out if there is just one or two things I can do to help ensure that he stays the course because he is, afterall, really really trying. These are the situations that make me angry and sad and frustrated with our "system" of education and government. There is no rehabilitation: If you were always a miscreant, then you rarely have a chance at changing your life and doing what's right. The streets are calling our kids. In fact, I fight against the streets everyday! I remember when I was about to become a teacher in New York City and I did a small scale study of the area in which I would teach. I interviewed a drug dealer on the corner, who happened to be a fellow high school classmate of mine. He looked me squarely in the face and said "Keep your foot up their asses because I got my hand in their pockets. Your greatest enemy everyday is ME and I ain't gonna quit so you better not either." And I have NEVER forgotten that lesson. It was the most honest lesson I learned as a teacher. No seminar or book by any prominent professor could have broken down education theory and philosophy to me so simply as Face, the drugdealer in Brooklyn. "Keep your foot in their asses...I'm your greatest enemy...I ain't gonna quit so you better not..." I'm still fighting and will continue to do so; I just wish I had more ammunition.
$.02.

WHEN THE BULLETS FLY IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION

http://www.philly.com/inquirer/local/nj/20070918_Willingboro_school_locked_down_after_gunfire.html
So why wasn't this on CNN? Why didn't the country freeze at the sound of this incident? I mean, we all know that Kanye West wasn't lying when he stunned the nation a few years ago on television when he said "George Bush does not care about Black people." But it's not just the President. 200+ kids would have lost their lives in an elementary school and nobody is fired up about it. All these innocent LITTLE children would have lost their opportunity to succeed and nobody is reporting it. The fact that school was open the next day is further heightens my level of anger and disdain at the Willingboro schools system. Surely, they can't assume that these children are used to the sound of gunshots and don't value their own lives. Had this happened in the white burbs then the children would have a week of on-going trauma therapy and myriad procedural safety drills. But it's as if they're assuming that black kids are immune to trauma. Imagine how they feel about going to school and hearing gunshots? Surely, some of them MUST be scared out of their wits. But nobody cares...If a tree falls in the woods kinda thing u know? Yeah well that's my two cents for today.

When is enough enough?

GALESBURG, Illinois (AP) -- Five students will get the diplomas they were denied when cheers erupted for them at a high school graduation, and school officials said Wednesday they would review a get-tough decorum policy.
Galesburg High School officials had said they would not hand over the keepsake diplomas unless they received apologies. But the stalemate over the diplomas and the media attention it attracted have taken valuable time and energy, they said.
"It is time for the good of the community, the school district, the families and the students involved to move on," Superintendent Gene Denisar said in a written statement.
The diplomas were withheld because the school said cheering violated a school policy aimed at restoring graduation decorum. The students still were considered graduates on paper, but they didn't have a diploma.
Graduate Nadia Trent, who picked up her diploma from the school secretary Wednesday afternoon, said she's "just happy it's over."
"If they would have apologized, it would have been better," said Trent.
Denisar cited talks with the Illinois State Board of Education, which has said it cannot support the district's decorum policy because it makes students responsible for behavior they cannot control, in explaining the decision.
The central Illinois school district about 150 miles southwest of Chicago will continue efforts to make commencement a "respectful and dignified occasion that all graduates and their families can enjoy," school board President Michael Panther said in statement. Officials did not say how they planned to review the no-cheer policy.
Peoria attorney Jeffrey Green, who took the students' case at no cost, sent a letter late Tuesday threatening to sue the district if officials did not apologize and deliver the diplomas by 5 p.m. Wednesday.
"They met with the families two or three times and had a chance to get this thing right," Green said. "I've been involved less than 24 hours, and now they have their diplomas, so you draw your own conclusions."
Parent Pam Kelley said she was disappointed that school officials did not apologize and that her daughter, Amanda, was handed the diploma by a high school secretary, not principal Tom Chiles.
"At least he could have come out and shook her hand and said congratulations," Kelley said.


Ms. Educated--I won't even waste my time. Nobody considered the joy of the family members for whom these children could very well be the first child graduating with honors. Or that they had seen the children work hard throughout the years to overcome obstacles (many of which I'm sure they faced in this school district) and were just simply proud to see them get out of there. This is a travesty and nobody can control the joy of parents at a graduation ceremony; it's preposterous. Absolute power corrupts absolutely